Grind the hemp seeds: Place the hemp seeds in a blender or food processor and blitz for about 30 seconds. You're looking for a fine, flour-like consistency — the seeds should release their oils slightly, giving off a nutty, warm aroma that fills your kitchen.

Combine the dry ingredients: In a medium saucepan, whisk together the ground hemp seeds, chia seeds, powdered erythritol, ground cinnamon, and a pinch of sea salt. The mixture should look like a pale, speckled powder with visible dark chia seeds scattered through it.

Add the liquids: Pour in the almond milk and water, then whisk vigorously for about 20 seconds. You'll notice the mixture start to thicken almost immediately as the chia seeds begin to absorb the liquid — it should look like a thin, lumpy batter at this stage.

Cook the porridge: Place the saucepan over medium heat and bring it to a gentle simmer. Stir constantly with a wooden spoon for 4-5 minutes. As it heats, the porridge will release a warm, cinnamon-spiced steam, and you'll hear a soft bubbling sound. The texture will shift from liquid to a thick, pudding-like consistency.

Add the butter and vanilla: Once the porridge has thickened and small bubbles break the surface, remove the pan from the heat. Stir in the butter and vanilla extract until the butter has fully melted and the porridge becomes glossy and smooth. The colour should deepen to a warm beige, and the smell will be intensely cinnamon-sweet.

Rest and thicken: Let the porridge sit for 2 minutes off the heat. During this time, the chia seeds will continue to swell, and the porridge will set into a firm, creamy mass. If you prefer a thinner consistency, stir in an extra splash of almond milk before serving.

Portion and store: Divide the porridge into four airtight containers. If you're eating immediately, spoon it into bowls and top with chopped pecans and sugar-free chocolate chips. The texture should be thick enough to hold a spoon upright without being stiff.